![[simpleton]](img/thesimp.gif)
August 31, 2010
How the Aircraft Got Built
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![[How the Aircraft Got Built]](img2/verse/howaircraftgotbuilt.jpg)
First we drew up plans for one that flew,
hunched over our drafting boards.
It wasn’t easy on the eye,
but airworthy – that one thing we knew.
Then we got texted – helpful words
from the accredited engineer:
"Make bold moves. I'ma throw these plans away."
Then we waited to get his changes.
And some, who had kids, got to leave,
and some, like me, had kids but had to stay.
The plan arrived: "Replace all flanges
with a ginger interweave,
in keeping with our green initiative."
The boss’s son came in to edit,
changed semicolons into commas
so arbitrators later on would give
him a fourth or fifth designer credit.
He laughed and said, "It’s all Obama’s
fault we have to rob from Paul and Peter."
The pilot said, "Take off the wings
and replace one with a circular saw,
and replace the other with an eggbeater."
The head designer said, "These things
are simply beasts that move through raw
air, just like an elephant trained to move
through jungle, bearing carters with
fat government contracts."
And so we added tusks, and at the Prove,
excessive nose-weight caused one death.
And then the whole system reacts:
We get a visit from the financier,
who plays it nice: "What do you need?"
I raise my hand and say, "More thrust."
Mistake! He says, "To pierce the mesosphere –
that’s the job we guaranteed.
Now all you boys do what you must.
But Mr. Expert," pointing at me, "the one
thing I want out of you is: train
this kid to become your replacement,
and add umbrellas pumping up and down
on pistons: That will lift the plane.
And then you’re fired. Outta my basement."
Again we heaved and sweated to comply,
each version feebler than the last.
Too late to do a proof-of test,
cause now’s the time to put it in the sky.
So all I’ll say is we worked fast,
and maybe three of us did our best,
but we can’t say for sure that it will fly.
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